In 2018, I described my positionality and identity through a vignette. This vignette discusses the moment of realization where I realize that I could not go to the college I wanted to because my family could not afford it. Living within a single parent home can be hard at times, but it is a part of my identity and, “…I realize how far I have come with accepting the identities I have been faced with,” (Richard 2018). I discuss how I felt growing up with a single mother, wishing I had both of my parents with me. I discuss the people I had gained in my life because of the circumstances I was in and how that has shaped me into who I am. I then reflect on not having my dad around on a daily basis. I discuss that some of my future students may not have both of their parents around and I would be able to make that connection with them. Being able to make connections with my students is important and valuable to their learning. Divorced parents are becoming more prevalent and to connect with students on a tough family situation will help me have those difficult and hard discussions with them.
Moving forward, I discussed living with my grandparents and how that affected me. My grandmother became ill and was diagnosed with stage four cancer when I was eight. This affected my whole family as medical bills rose high and we did what we could with the money we had. After both of my grandparents passed away, I now live with my mother and uncle in the same apartment. My mother is unable to afford to live on her own (her and I), so we have stayed in the same apartment since I was born. I continue to discuss that I still see my mother struggle with money, which influenced me to continue my education to be able to help my future family, but also give back to my mother who has given me everything.
“Being the first in my family to go to college had another big influence on who I am,” (Richard 2018). I discuss the different viewpoints from my father’s side of the family compared to my mother’s point of view. My mother would always know I was trying my hardest, even when I brought a bad grade home. My father’s side of the family was not this understanding and did not know the difference between the challenges of high school versus college. Turning to June Jordan’s On Call, I discuss that I did not face anything when it came to my gender and race. “I feel the stereotype of white people, is that they are automatically rich. Most of the time this is not true,” (Richard 2018). I discuss my own experience growing up in a low-income family comes to shock some people, as I am a white female.
Reflecting back on my 2018 self, after my praxis project, I can say confidently that my perceptions on myself and others has changed. Our identities and positionalities have a lot to do with who we are, what we do, and how we learn. Looking specifically at one of my students, Alex, he was perceived as a “troublemaker” by fellow teachers when I first entered my praxis space. After observing the classroom for some time, I came to realize that Alex was not a “troublemaker” but an English Language Learner (ELL) . His label of “troublemaker” came out of his communication barrier and not being able to recognize that he was speaking out of turn and not giving space for others to talk. This makes up Alex’s identity and creates his positionality in both the world and the classroom. He has an extra hurdle to jump over than his peers. This is what makes Alex who he is. From observing Alex and from looking at my own identity, I know I will carefully be watching and observing my own students when I am a teacher. By doing so, I will understand who they are and their positionality in the world.